30 Days – Day 3 – Something I Forgive Myself For

If you’re following this blog, you know I’m participating in the ‘30 Days of Truth‘ project I’ve seen on other blogs.  It’s helping me commit to posting every single day, since I’m also taking part in The Daily Post project.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I forgive myself for all the times I resented driving to the city after school, or work, to sit beside you in your hospital room.  I forgive myself for feeling bored watching that fucking hospital television set that never seemed to show anything good, and thinking how you were somewhere else, far away and not yourself.  I forgive myself for the many times I must have looked at the clock, waiting to “punch out” and go home.  I forgive myself for sneaking out of your room probably too often to go downstairs to smoke, or to masturbate in the first floor restroom, or to the record store – anything to get away from the reality of what was going on.  I forgive myself for hating that hour drive each way.   I forgive myself for only barely keeping it together when dad had to hold your head up while we wheeled you down to eat with the other patients, because you didn’t have the ability to do it yourself.

I forgive myself for being 16 and not always knowing what to do or how to deal with having to become an adult overnight.


Weeping Woman by Kamil Swiatek

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “30 Days – Day 3 – Something I Forgive Myself For

    • That’s how I prefer to write. I don’t usually have any posts prepared ahead of time. I like to sit down and let the words flow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s