30 Days – Day 10 – Someone I Need to Let Go

If you’re following this blog, you know I’m participating in the ‘30 Days of Truth‘ project I’ve seen on other blogs.  It’s helping me commit to posting every single day, since I’m also taking part in The Daily Post project.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Luckily, I’m at a place in my life currently where I don’t have any dead weight in the friendship category.  I have a smaller circle of intimates here in my early 30s than I did around 18 or 21, etc.  And that suits me just fine.  I have also cut out unnecessary drama, as many my age have.  So I don’t have anyone making me miserable.

That said, there is always room to grow; to move forward.  Living in the past is a waste of time.  We would all do well to keep the past fresh in memory, and learn from the mistakes contained therein.  However, if we are spinning our wheels in yesterday, we cannot see today or hope to see tomorrow.

I must continue to excise negativity from my view, and my life.  This could include acquaintances, social networking “friends,” and so forth.  I can be negative with the best of them.  However, it’s usually bitching about something in my life I’m unsettled with, as opposed to one of my biggest pet peeves: people who constantly bemoan their lot in life, but refuse to actively do anything to change it.  Those who fall into this category will not find any sympathy from me.

“There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still.”  – Franklin D. Roosevelt


Piece For Wind I

(inspired by my current read, ‘Grapefruit‘ by Yoko Ono)

Take a bag of woven cloth, or plastic
Whisper your secrets into the bag
Go outside, wherever there is wind
Open the bag and let the secrets fly to the wind
Forget them all

2011 winter

30 Days – Day 9 – Someone Who Drifted

If you’re following this blog, you know I’m participating in the ‘30 Days of Truth‘ project I’ve seen on other blogs.  It’s helping me commit to posting every single day, since I’m also taking part in The Daily Post project.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

"Drift" by Marni Mutrux

Many people drift in and out of our lives.  As we grow older, we come to accept this as fact, and are better equipped to deal with it as a part of life.  We come to understand that some relationships are transitory, and sometimes a person’s presence serves as a learning experience for us.

“Every moment in life is a learning experience. Or what good is it, right?”
– Paul, ‘Six Degrees of Separation’

His name was Jesse.  He was my best friend in the last couple of years of high school.  We became like brothers after he transferred to my school.  Both only children, we came from different worlds.  His parents were pretty small town and friendly, but they had money.  His mom drove a sports car and his dad bought him a sweet little jet black Nissan pickup with tinted windows and chrome rims with low-profile tires.

Every single time I hear “Pony” by Ginuwine (which isn’t often, but still) I think of that truck, and him, and us riding through town on Friday nights, cruising the main drag just like all the other kids, because there wasn’t shit else to do in that town.

My parents’ old house sat right next to our new house, in total disrepair.  Half the thing was torn open/falling down, literally.  My dad started tearing it down, and well, stopped.  We, being the industrious young men we were, turned the old living room (which was fine but had no heat) into a bachelor pad.  We each had a sofa to sleep on, a TV, and a fridge.  That was the life.

We got measured for prom tuxes together.  I used to buy us 30 packs of Natty Light when I was 17, from a convenience store in town – it always seemed to work – maybe it was my goatee and chops.  He caught me jerking off to a nudie mag once and then casually asked me which pics I was looking at.  lol.  We smoked so much pot I actually hallucinated (pink elephants – wtf was in that weed?) and threw up outside.  We were 16 and 17.  We were brothers.

He was the first person I came out to, a few weeks after I graduated high school.  I was terrified that he’d reject me.  He didn’t.  He thought it was the coolest thing.

It was the summer of 1997.  He and his family had moved to another town about 30-40 minutes away.  I was busy getting into college and getting a job in a town 45 minutes in another direction.  And, as life goes, we drifted apart.  Less and less calls between us, and so forth.  I saw him one other time.  I was back at my parents house for a bit, and he just happened to be in town visiting.  He dropped by for about 45 minutes or an hour or so, and we just visited.  But I’d already changed.  And he had graduated, and was changing himself…off to start his own independent life.

And so it goes.  But once upon a time, we were best friends.  I wonder what ever became of him.  I miss him.

Atheist ‘Demotivational Posters’

You’ve no doubt seen such ‘demotivational posters’ covering a variety of topics on the internetz.  Here are a few of my favorites covering the topic of non-theism.  Some are hilarious, others thought-provoking.  Enjoy, kids.

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*Bonus – spot the non-atheism/religion image, just thrown in for pure hilarity!

Mean, Cagey, Haphazard, & Socially Retarded

…apparently, these are my personality traits.  Tremendous.  Want to know yours?  Here ya go.

Your Results
Closed-Minded Open to New Experiences
Disorganized Conscientious
Introverted Extraverted
Disagreeable Agreeable
Calm / Relaxed Nervous / High-Strung

What aspects of personality does this tell me about?

There has been much research on how people describe others, and five major dimensions of human personality have been found. They are often referred to as the OCEAN model of personality, because of the acronym from the names of the five dimensions.

Openness to Experience/Intellect
         High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.
         You enjoy having novel experiences and seeing things in new ways.     (Your percentile: 90)
         High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.
         You tend to do things somewhat haphazardly.     (Your percentile: 21)
         High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.
         You probably enjoy spending quiet time alone.     (Your percentile: 9)
         High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.
         You are neither extremely forgiving nor irritable.     (Your percentile: 44)
         High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.
         You are a generally anxious person and tend to worry about things.     (Your percentile: 87)

What do the scores tell me?

In order to provide you with a meaningful comparison, the scores you received have been converted to “percentile scores.” This means that your personality score can be directly compared to another group of people who have also taken this personality test.The percentile scores show you where you score on the five personality dimensions relative to the comparison sample of other people who have taken this test on-line. In other words, your percentile scores indicate the percentage of people who score less than you on each dimension. For example, your Extraversion percentile score is 9, which means that about 9 percent of the people in our comparison sample are less extraverted than you — in other words, you are strongly introverted. Keep in mind that these percentile scores are relative to our particular sample of people. Thus, your percentile scores may differ if you were compared to another sample (e.g., elderly British people).

30 Days – Day 2 – Something I Love About Myself

If you’re following this blog, you know I’m participating in the ‘30 Days of Truth‘ project I’ve seen on other blogs.  It’s helping me commit to posting every single day, since I’m also taking part in The Daily Post project. 

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

This seems like a logical follow-up to the hardcore introduction to the 30DOT challenge.  There are many things I love about myself.  Rather than just one; I’ll make a list.

  • I love my appreciation of music, to the degree that I consider it almost an extension of my personality. – I love the experience of music, the relationship I can have with it.
  • I love my natural artistic abilities. – Art is a way to both find and free the self.  Even if I don’t have a real reason for painting something, it surely tells a story to someone, somewhere.
  • I love my desire to correctly use the English language. – Language is something to be savored, devoured, spit out, reveled in. 
  • I love that sometimes I deliberately travel the humorous and well-worn territory of colloquialism, country talk, white-boy Ebonics,  LOL-speak, and however else I choose to express myself at any given moment.
  • I love that I can find beauty and happiness in the smallest, quietest details. – Being happy is a choice.  It doesn’t mean a perfect life, a huge bank account, etc.  It means choosing not to let the circumstances define you.
  • I love that I am decidedly outside the normal…outside the mundane, the traditional, the conventional, the typical.
  • I love my rabid thirst for knowledge and information.
  • I love that I am adaptable, almost to a fault.  Actually, this one could be seen by some to be a less desirable trait.  I don’t know if it comes from loss, but for years I’ve been able to just walk away from something.  I may freak out when truly bad tidings come knocking, and feel beat down, but usually pretty quickly I get that out of my system and get on with it.  I lost both my parents in my 20s, and my world turned itself inside out.  I guess after that, nothing else is as extreme. 

'Unique Forms of Continuity in Space' by Umberto Boccioni, 1913

“He is his own best friend, and takes delight in privacy whereas the man of no virtue or ability is his own worst enemy and is afraid of solitude.” – Aristotle

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